The Seven Year Itch
Dear City of New York,
It breaks my heart to even think it, and it’s been a weepy weekend as I’ve considered exactly what this means, but I feel we need to break up.
This does not mean I don’t love you. For these many years, I have loved you as much as a girl can love a city, sometimes to questionable levels. And you, of course, have loved me back, giving me opportunity, independence, and experiences without which I wouldn’t be who I am today. I will miss you deeply, and I’m sickened by the pain I feel when I think of leaving. After nearly seven years together, surrounded by transience, I am seriously unprepared to say goodbye.
You are magic and energy and in overdrive even in your quietest moments. I don’t know how you do it, and my pace has quickened as I’ve run to match your gait. You, more than anywhere I’ve ever been, know how to fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds’ worth of distance run. I cannot fault you for that. But I’m no longer interested in going where you are going. More accurately, I’m losing interest in your treadmill marathons. All of this energy expended is not getting me where I want to be.
I don’t imagine this comes as a surprise to you. I’ve tried to break up with you before. I’ve threatened to leave, flirted with other cities, and had the occasional cross-coastal fling. I may have seemed unfaithful, but each time I’ve come running back, clinging to your dysfunctional, familiar patterns. Even this past winter when things were icy between us and all I did was plan my escape, my exasperation was no match for you and your list of why we are so good together. Everywhere I tried failed because it couldn’t measure up to you, faults notwithstanding. I could never move on because there was nowhere to move on with. But it had become clear that ultimately, my future would not be with you.
Please forgive me in this. I am only thinking of myself. May I remind you, though, that such has been the foundation of all your relationships, and is the only way we’ve survived together so long. You are one of the better things that has happened to me, and I know you will be fine without me. You will continue to charm and impress all who know you, and those who don’t know you will speak of you with envy and awe. You are brilliant and complicated and powerful and inspiring. You, of course, are New York.
May 26th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Oh! I guess I knew this day was coming, but I hate to see it happen. You two were so good together!
May 26th, 2009 at 9:14 pm
Oh!!! This makes me almost tear up! I love this post but not nearly as much as I love its author. I will miss you more than I can adequately express. You, for me, have been an icon in this lovely city and I know that you will move on and become another icon in the next. But boy, will I miss you! Sad days….
May 26th, 2009 at 10:41 pm
As in all relationships, your breakup with a longtime lover will only be healed once you fall in love again. I think I see this in your future citylife soon!
May 26th, 2009 at 11:59 pm
tam- thanks, we certainly had our moments.
malia- nyc may be keeping some of our mutual friends, but i get to take the internet.
sally- i really hope so. also, is city healing expedited, as it is with boys, by ice cream? how about yogurtland?
May 27th, 2009 at 11:36 am
I can’t believe it! Whenever I think of NYC I think of you, and when I think of you I think of the Big Apple. I’m excited for your new adventure!
July 18th, 2009 at 9:11 am
It’s official, huh? As with any break up I suggest a clean break, go and don’t look back for a while. No long goodbyes, no lingering looks, just go on to your sunny future! Good luck! NYC will miss you, I’m sure!